Being Seen, Being Heard: Practicing Inclusivity Begins With The Small Steps

Sexual harassment is a phrase that evokes unpleasant experiences. Instances of sexual harassment and other forms of abuse are all around us today. From workplaces to homes, schools, and beyond, it sometimes seems as though there really are no safe spaces left anymore. However, a discussion of any problem is never complete without a focus on solutions.

Just the other day, someone shared with me their story of what transpired at a family event. Twin teenage girls were part of the entourage that set out to attend a wedding in the family. On one night, one of the sisters had the distinct sense that she had been touched inappropriately, but it was too dark for her to see what happened. The next morning, she shared this with her sister, who had, unfortunately, also had the same experience. The duo found out that following night that their experience was indeed real, and that the abuser was none other than their paternal uncle. Sexual predators are there everywhere, and some of them, unfortunately, are those whom you consider your own.

Our culture of putting the family first often prevents those who have been abused from coming forward and sharing their story. Even if they do muster up the courage, the experience is often discounted as an accident and/or they were at fault somehow.

The belief and confidence that their parents will stand by them, these two sisters, confronted this man who admitted to having done the deed and left the event. His family, too, apologized for his behavior.

Handling Workplace Harassment

Let us extrapolate this situation to the workplace. Instances of workplace harassment are often not brought to the attention of relevant people. The victim feels like they would not be trusted, or others would make light of the event & they would be labeled as the ‘not-cool’ person. This is particularly true when the abuser is in a position of power.

Let’s go back to the story once more. Since these young women had been empowered by their close family and brought up with keen awareness of good vs. bad touch, they were able to call out abuse and act against the abuser. However, what if the response they got instead was along the lines of, “Oh, but you must have misunderstood! He is touchy-feely but doesn’t really mean anything by that!”

When it comes to abuse, many people hesitate to bring the incident to light feeling that there are so many grey areas. Events get discredited in so many ways. Yes, we have all heard of or encountered people who are more expressive with their feelings, but that does not mean that someone shouldn’t feel uncomfortable about it.

A safe workplace is where you are heard or listened to when you speak up about inappropriate behavior.

Particularly in the Indian context, where we give credence to the hierarchy of superiority by age, experience, influence, and so many other parameters. This makes it harder for anyone on the other side to open up and share their experiences freely. Even if they do open up, they have fears about how the information will be received, plus the potential for stigma from peers and coworkers.

Organizations have the ability and the tools they need to say no to a culture of abuse from the very beginning. Companies large and small can independently choose to define their policy on harassment in accordance with the Vishaka Guidelines. Moreover, it is essential to remember that abuse and harassment are not restricted by gender, or to gender, alone. This is where the need for diversity thinking comes in, and it becomes important to protect the interests of the abused, irrespective of what our individual bias or social norms may dictate.

Here are some key messages I would like to leave you with:

• Parents: trust your children and empower them to stand up for themselves
• In the workplace, encourage people to speak up when their personal space is encroached upon
• Look into every complaint seriously, there may be a perpetrator in the making
• Take serious action against false allegations

Make the world a better place for all to thrive and succeed.

Shachi Irde